Primal Urges
by KathrynJ
Summary: Real feelings can come out at stress relief parties .. even when you don't want them too.


Primal Urges  
By KathrynJ  
  
Kathryn:  
  
I slip into a long black dress, the dress has a low cut neckline and a slit high up the thigh. I step into some matching black shoes and add a necklace and earrings to complete the look. I look into the mirror. "This will get Chakotay's attention." I smile at the thought of the kind of attention. I can just see his jaw drop, the twinkle he will get in his eyes. Then I wonder just what in hell I'm thinking. I know better than that. I don't have the time or the desire to start a relationship. Well okay maybe the desire. This isn't right, I suddenly remind myself. He is my First Officer, not a play toy. Protocol. I shouldn't touch him. I can't afford to get that close to a member of my crew. No matter how much ... oh go ahead and admit it. I want to. "Okay that does it." I reprimand myself, "I'm changing this dress to something more appropriate. I can't let him see it." I reach into the closet and pull out a more modest dress. Well the idea was nice, I think to myself. I reach to undo the curve hugging black dress and my hand stops in mid-motion as the door chime sounds. "Come" I call out as I turn to see who it is.  
  
Chakotay:  
  
I enter her quarters. "Kathryn I thought . . . " I stop in mid-sentence as I take in the sight of her. I can't believe that dress she is wearing, God the side is cut almost to... Whoa... down boy. I quickly try to recover from my apparent astonishment and quickly smile. "You look lovely tonight." I manage to say, being careful to control the surprise in my voice. I knew she was beautiful, but wow that dress on her is something else. I see the surprise in her face as she drops a second dress she was holding. I could be a gentleman and retrieve it for her. Before I react she moves to pick it up herself. The dress falls open at the slit revealing her leg as she does. I can just see the curve of one breast as she leans forward to grasp the dress. Oh God, I try to contain myself. I see the smile on her face, she knows the effect this is having on me. For the first time since I entered her quarters I notice the look on her face. She is eyeing me. My choice of suits had it's desired effect. "You thought what?" she asks me, breaking me of my thoughts. I respond by continuing my offer to accompany her to the stress relief party. She smiles at me and before she can change her mind about wearing that dress I quickly help her hang the other and offer her my arm.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
It is Chakotay, and Oh god, he is wearing that suit. I feel the conservative dress slip from my hands as I take in the sight of him. I'm sure he has seen my response and I quickly move to pick up the dress. I can't help but wonder what he would look like without that suit. I find myself reprimanding myself for the second time already this evening. I see his eyes go wide as I pick up the dress. For a brief moment I wonder if he heard my thoughts. As I feel the air against my leg I realize the dress has slipped open at the side. Desired effect achieved. I smile at that thought. I quickly try to regain my composer as I ask him why he has come. He offers to accompany me to the stress relief party. I catch the look in his eyes as he runs them up and down my body, trying to ignore it I simply smile and take his arm as we head off to join the party.  
  
Chakotay:  
  
I can feel eyes on us as we enter the room. I take her over to the replicator having decided to use some of my credits for some good bloodwine instead of the rock gut Voyager home-brew. She smiles as she hears my order and nods in appreciation as I hand her, her glass. I made it a point to learn what she likes to drink. I catch the slight surprise in her face at my attention to detail. A few drinks later I offer her to dance. She accepts and I lead her out to the dance floor. It is a slow dance and I enjoy the feel of her body close to mine. I can't resist pulling her incredibly close. She is relaxed and responds by wrapping her arms around my neck. I smile and drink in the scent of her hair and skin. I wonder if she has finally decided it is time to find someone special. To allow herself the luxury of a mate. For both of our sakes, I hope so. I have wanted her for so long.  
  
Kathryn :  
  
The Bloodwine soon has me relaxed and as he leads me to the dance floor I can't help but wrap my arms around his neck. God he feels so good, it is all I can do to stop myself from pulling him into a kiss. I look deep into his eyes as we dance, his hands on my body, I want more. Can he see that? Yet I can't afford the luxury of a relationship with him. We dance and talk the evening away, taking time to mingle with the other crew, but always drawn back to each others side. I look at the time and realize I should be getting back to my quarters. I need to rest, I'm due on the bridge in 5 short hours. As I excuse myself he offers to walk me back. We walk back to my quarters, arm in arm. He passes the door to his quarters escorting me to mine. My arm slips around his waist as he turns to me, I look in his eyes. God those beautiful brown eyes, and that smile. He draws me too him. Oh god, I feel a tingle go through my body as our lips meet. My hand holds the back of his head as I pull him into me, my body pressing against his as the kiss turns into a long, deep, lingering one. My lips parting, as his tongue seeks mine, my hand on his neck pulling harder. I realize what I'm doing and soon pull reluctantly away. "I'm, sorry." I manage to say as I gaze into those handsome eyes, my body wanting more. My mind telling me, this is wrong, Captains don't make Love with their First Officers. Before he can protest I slip out of his arms and into my quarters. I'll spend this night alone, as usual.  
  
Chakotay:  
  
She feels so good in my arms. I decide to risk kissing her as we approach the door to her Quarters. She has been relaxed all evening, with that look in her eyes. I know what she wants. But will she fight what she knows we both want? What we both need? As I ask myself these questions I feel her hand slip around my waist as I turn to her. The corridor is empty, we are alone. I look into her eyes as I draw her against me. To risk her wrath is worth it. I lean into her and kiss her gently on the lips, she responds by pulling me closer. God she is beautiful. I kiss her again long and deep as I feel her press her body against mine. Suddenly she stops and pulls away, letting me go. She apologies and hurries into her quarters before I stop her. I wrestle with the idea of ringing her chime and forcing her to confront her feelings, make her talk about it. I decide against the idea. It would embarrass her. We have come a long way tonight. At least I know... she wants me. I turn away and go to my quarters. another night alone ahead.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
I slowly stretch and yawn as I hear the chronometer sound letting me know it is time to start a new day. This morning seems to have come too fast. Only a few hours sleep. I get out of bed wrapping a robe around my nude body. I think of last night. What in hell was I doing? I ask myself. I have to slow down at those parties. Just how much Bloodwine did I drink anyway? As I recall the feel of his body against mine, the wonderful feel of his kiss, I curse myself. How could you have done that Kathryn? You know better. But god he looked so good last night, dressed in that suit, and he knew it. I could have hit that smug look right off his face. I know I got too far into the wine. Not a good thing for a Captain to do. But the last while has been hell. Everyone needed a well deserved break in routine. Chakotay looked just so good. When he asked me to dance I didn't want to say no. Hell I wanted more than to dance with him. But I can't let that happen. The kiss was bad enough. When he offered to walk me back to my quarters, that empty corridor, his wonderful good looks. When he leaned into kiss me I should have turned away. I should have called him Commander and brought back the protocols. Instead I look into those handsome brown eyes and pull him in closer. Damn what was I thinking? How is he going to react to me today?  
  
Chakotay:  
  
As I slowly wake up to the sound of the chronometer the thoughts of last night come racing back into my mind. I can't believe she did it again. And I let her. I should have gone in. I should have confronted her on it. Just when I thought I had broke through. She had actually loosened up at that stress relief party. Of course I was fixing her drinks, a lot stronger than she is used to. But she won't let loose otherwise. She looked so good in that slinky black dress she wore. I never would have imagined her wearing something like that. Well okay I have... but I never really thought I'd see it. When I offered to walk her back to her quarters and the corridor was empty all I wanted to do was kiss her and hold her close. I must admit when she didn't pull away at first it surprised me. That kiss was wonderful her pulling me closer. God I wanted her right there and then, right in the corridor. But of course she stiffened after the kiss, guess she thought about it. But at least I know... she IS interested. I look at the chronometer. Damn I'm going to be late for the bridge. She'll skin me.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
Where in hell is he. I am expecting our first meeting of the day to be uncomfortable after last night. I am anxious to get it over with. Of course he chooses today to be late. I resist the urge to get his location from the computer or to call him. A few of the bridge crew looks a little worse for wear. Too much party last night and not enough sleep. Their moods have improved having worked out some of the tensions of the past month. I feel better too, except for that one thing. Damn what is wrong with me. Every time the door opens I feel my heart start to thump in my chest. And when it isn't him... God I'm getting obsessed with the man. I hear the door slide open again and see him enter the bridge. My heart thumps so hard I'm sure the whole bridge crew can hear it. I try to hide my discomfort as I look at him. "It's about time Commander." I say to him as he takes his familiar seat to the left of me. I try to keep my tone professional, hiding all traces of the evening before. He mutters an excuse something about sleeping in. I consider strongly for a moment hauling him into my Ready Room and raking him over the coals for his tardiness. I let the incident drop and we manage to get through the day. The tension between us strong. The sexual attraction and the fact we both know it is there, playing on our minds. He has managed to push my buttons today to no end.  
  
Chakotay:  
  
As I entered the bridge the look on her face told me all I wanted to know. She missed me, I believe in more than just missing her First Officer. I smile at her and she quickly becomes the Captain again. She always tries to hide those feelings. I'm happy she let them slip out last night. She makes a remark to let me know she noticed my tardiness this morning. I mutter a reply and I see her look angry for a moment. I smile, I can't help it. I know now I got to her last night. More than I would allow myself to hope for. I find myself hoping she will call me to her ready room, a chance to be alone and force her to speak of last night. I want that to be a beginning for us. Well I did it again. I've managed to piss of her one way or another all day. I don't know if it is because I'm not concentrating on my work. I keep finding my thoughts on her. Or if it is because she is looking for some sign I disrespect her after last night. Either way the result is the same. She is extremely pissed at me. I finish with my duties for the day and end my day with one finale screw up. As I do I wonder if I'm screwing up on purpose, unconsciously wanting a chance to speak to her alone. I decided I better get control of myself, she might never let this get any further. I head to my quarters and slip into the shower, thoughts of her on my mind. I think of her scent, her hair, her eyes, and smile.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
I'm tired of pacing back and forth in my quarters. The days events going through my mind. His numerous screw ups. His handsome smile, his dark eyes.  
  
"Kathryn!" I reprimand myself as my thoughts jump tracks. That's it. I'm going to go to his quarters and talk to him about his behavior. I will set the record straight for both our sakes. I need to make him realize that we can never work. I head down to his quarters and I don't stop at the door, it is early. I'm only in the habit of ringing the chime to his door late in the evening when he could be walking about in the nude. I walk right in and begin my speech. "Chakotay we have to... " I stop mid-sentence. I stand there inside his quarters, in the center of his living room area. I stare at him. He is wearing only a thick blue towel wrapped around his waist. Water drops still cover his broad shoulders and chest. He has just come from the shower. I can't help but stare at him. If that towel fell, he would be naked there in front of me. I can't help willing it to fall. The view. I'm sure. would be wonderful. I realize I'm staring and see the smile that comes to his lips as he regains his composure at my intrusion, and realizes I'm staring at him. "I'm, sorry Commander, I see I've come at a bad time." I manage to say. I can't seem to take my eyes off him.  
  
Chakotay:  
  
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist as I move into the living area of my quarters. Suddenly my door opens and she walks in. She cuts off her sentence part way when she realizes I'm wearing nothing more than a towel and a smile. She manages a quick apology but her eyes are drinking in the sight of me. I can't help but notice as she runs her eyes up and down my body and continually stops at the towel. Good thing towels aren't see through. I chuckle at the thought and she looks at me. "Something funny Commander." She asks. "No nothing at all Captain, I was just thinking." I answer, purposely not telling her what I was thinking about. I offer her a seat on the couch, which she takes. "We need to talk." She says, her voice taking on a husky tone as she looks at me. I can feel her desire. I decide to act on it, there may never be another chance like this. I move my body in closer to hers. As I turn to face her, the towel falls open. I am still covered but barely, I make no move to correct it as I see her cheeks flush. "Of course Kathryn, what ever you want." I reply to her. I move closer and begin to stroke her hair as we speak. My passion starting to rise within me. Not wanting to stop. I realize very soon I won't be able to hide my state.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
Oh god, I think to myself as I see the towel fall open. His left leg and hip bared, his crotch barely covered. I find it hard to think as I will the towel to fall the rest of the way. He moves in closer to me and begins to stroke my hair. I lean my head into his hand, forgetting all I came here to do. He pulls me into a warm embrace and kisses me deeply. I know this is wrong and begin to pull away, fighting my own urges that threaten to control me. My passions rising, I moan as he uses more strength to hold me closer to him. Not letting me pull away. I am aware I could order him to let me go. But I can't seem to find the words. I feel his strong arms around me as he begins to kiss me harder, his hands exploring my body, urgently seeking what we have both wanted for so long. I find I can't resist. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head to mine kissing him long and deep. I feel his hands removing my clothes. I remove the towel the rest of the way from him. My hands seek out his hardness. He moans in pleasure as my hand touches him. My body is on fire as his hands move over it, caressing my breasts and massaging between my legs. He pulls me down under him on the couch. "I want you Kathryn." He says, his voice deep with passion. "God, I want you, Chakotay." I reply to him, not able to deny these urges, these feelings. I moan loudly as he enters me. Our bodies moving together slowly, tenderly at first, then more urgently. I find myself clawing into his back with my nails and moaning louder than I ever have, as his body meets mine again and again. His moans coming louder as our passions near their peak. "I Love You, Kathryn . . God I Love You." He moans into my ear as his climax hits. My own climax peaks and I find myself uttering words I swore never would be said. "Chakotay... God Yes... I Love You... Chakotay."  
  
Chakotay:  
  
I wonder for a brief moment if it was all a dream. I look over and see her still asleep on my bed. I can't help but smile. It took a lot of convincing to get her to agree to spend the night. I pull her close and snuggle her. I feel like the happiest man alive.  
  
Kathryn:  
  
I wake up and stretch then become aware of a body beside me, I instantly open my eyes and jump out of bed. Realizing I didn't dream last night I grab a blanket to cover my nakedness. He laughs at me and I feel a strong urge to hit him. "What is so funny?" I ask him when the shock of seeing him there fades. "And just what are you doing here." "Well Kathryn, first this is my quarters, that's what I'm doing here. Second, you are hiding under my blanket. Third I've seen all night long that beautiful body you are hiding." He replies to my questions, a mischievous look in his handsome brown eyes. His laughter is contagious and I find myself soon laughing too. He reaches for the blanket wrapped around me and reels me in to his arms and back on the bed. As I look at him I can't help but feel a surge of Love course through me. He once again pulls me under him as his hands explore my body. He gently massages the warm wetness between my legs. I moan as he slowly pushes two fingers deep inside me. I feel his hardness against my thigh. I want him. This time, I want him my way. I roll him over onto his back and kiss and lick at his neck as I straddle him pushing my body down onto his hardness. He smiles at my aggressiveness, as I take him. He moans as my body engulfs his, our bodies moving hard and fast together. I rake my nails over his flesh, excited all the more by his moans. He moves his hands over my body taking time to massage and squeeze my breasts, he grasps my hips as he pushes up to meet my thrusts. Our moans grow louder as we near climax together once again. My breathing comes in heavy gasps, I suddenly tense as the force of my climax hits and I feel him tense in his own climax. Both of us professing our Love for the other. As I collapse on top of him, my passion spent, I can't help but wonder, If I've done the right thing. I no longer can deny the Love I have for this wonderful man. Somehow things will work out. I kiss him again and climb out of his bed. "It is time for work, Commander." I say to him, as I head to his shower to get cleaned up to begin my day. 


End file.
